Every relationship goes through their fair share of money awkwardness. From sussing out who’s buying the first drink on the first date to graduating into bill splitting territory – any serious relationship is due for a money chat sooner than later.
We know, it might not be the sexiest topic, but it’s an important part of a larger conversation about establishing trust. Especially if you and your partner are thinking about moving in together or getting married in the future.
Schedule the conversation
We recently listened to a Tim Ferriss podcast where he explained how he and his partner lock in calendar time to have serious conversations. This might sound extreme, but the idea of making a formal ‘money date’ has merit. Try to lock in time with your partner to have the big money chat, and do your best to keep your emotions out of it. It’s critical to be as honest and open as you can about your current financial situation – but keep in mind that you’re not obligated to share everything about your money.
Talk about values
One thing that we don’t hear people discuss enough is their money values. How do you feel about your money and how does it influence your life?
We’ve all had different upbringings and parents with particular views about money. Whether you had George Costanza or Kris Jenner for a parent, it definitely had an impact on you.
So, it’s important to discuss how you and your partner both view money. Is it a worry? Is it a focus? Is it a means to an end?
Resist having expectations
Some of us will be more guilty of this than others, but sometimes old-fashioned expectations can come back to haunt us.
If you find yourself expecting something unattainable from your partner, ask yourself why you think that and make sure to get on the same page.
Don't keep secrets
We all have one or two skeletons in our money-closet. The best way to get rid of them is to share them. We know, it’s a tough ask.
A high amount of debt or a serious financial setback like a default isn’t easy to admit. Common issues that come up between couples are typically around income disparity and current debt.
It’s tough to open up about these things sometimes but it will only make your relationship stronger if you can be open and transparent.
Keep your cool
Opening up about your financial situation is always difficult. Nobody is perfect with their money so try not to judge if your partner reveals a slip-up, or if they have more accumulated debt is than expected.
You don’t want to risk them closing themselves off and being scared to discuss it again.
Disclaimer: This article contains general information only, and is not general advice or personal advice. Wisr Services does not recommend any product or service discussed in this article. You must get your own financial, taxation, or legal advice, and understand any risks before considering whether a product or service discussed in this article may be appropriate for you. We have taken reasonable efforts to ensure that the information is accurate at the time of publishing, but the information is subject to change. We may not update the article to reflect any change.